Category: <span>Family Life</span>

Searching For A Godly Wife?

It is widely known in all cultures that a man usually takes the initial step in proposing to a woman for marriage. This process has the benefit of causing the man to commit himself more to the task of loving and caring for the woman of his choice. But, what are the standards he must employ to guide his desires and recognize the desired traits in a particular woman in order to choose her among the thousands around as his wife?
Men must remember that the affection of a male is more prone to wander away to other women than it is for the affection of a female to easily sway to other men. Unless a lady has not found her security in the arms of a real loving, honest, and caring man, most women will make less sexual exploits outside of their marriages than men will do. Since you have to make only one life-long choice of a wife for a permanent bond, a man should patiently employ all his faculties (physical and spiritual), and be goal-oriented in his choice. Men are creatures of sight, and can make disastrous blunders by merely falling in love at first sight. They can be swayed by feelings and attractions of graceful feminine body features to jump aimlessly into marriages, only to give problems to themselves and their wives later on, and cause untold suffering to their children.
As I mentioned before, there are fundamental and essential differences between men and women, which dictate specific needs of the different sexes. These needs have very strong influences on what to look for in the other person in order to fulfill that need. When there are expressions of dissatisfaction, conflicts, nagging, and fights in a marriage or family, the final interpretation is not just “incompatibility” as people often say, but the sudden realization of the husband and wife that their needs are not being met in the marriage relationship. They begin to crave for essential ingredients they ought to have opened their eyes and apply all their senses to explore long before they concluded to make the other person part of their lives.
We are always told that we “fall in love” with a person before we marry the one. As much as there is some truth in this concept, I often prefer to advise people to “walk into love” rather more, by guarding their affections carefully with wisdom.

I have listed a few important qualities that a gentleman has to look for in the right woman of his dreams, which will make him conclude that he has made the best choice for a wife. I must caution that you will fully know some of them only when you actually live with the woman, but in all cases, through conversation, interactions, and careful observations, you can have sufficient ideas to work with. I believe that the best woman of your choice must be:

1) HUMBLE AND UNDERSTANDING —- Not domineering or demanding. She must be willing to submit to the good leadership of her husband. No man can live with a woman who always wants to “bulldoze” him around to do her bidding, and cannot patiently help him to be the good leader he has to be for the family. Taking time to listen to the man and giving appropriate responses, with humble inputs.
2) RESPECTFUL —- A woman who respects herself and has a heart and attitude of respect for her man. A woman who will not bring disgrace to the husband and family by her words and behavior before others, especially in public.
3) MODEST —— Not worldly or sophisticated. The fineries and nice articles are good for the enhancement of appearance, but she must not make flamboyant dressing her goal, and be in the habit of parading herself in the most expensive clothing and jewels in town. Someone who knows the elegance of a real lady that issues from decent and wise way of dressing.

4) NEAT AND TIDY—- concerned bout cleanliness and personal hygiene. Always taking pains to let herself and her environment look and smell good. Having the appearance and aroma that invokes true love and devotion in a man for a woman. The first test is

the state of her kitchen and ordinary clothing, followed by her bathroom, and then her bedroom.
5) DOMESTIC —– A joyful homemaker. Willing to spend time at home and get the place organized. Having a heart to welcome and entertain visitors. Consistent, proper placing and arrangement of items at home. Supporting the man to bring essential ingredients needed to run a happy and productive home. Not gallivanting aimlessly outside at the expense of her home. Not neglecting important household duties.
6) GOOD COOK —- Learning and knowing how to cook good and savory dishes. Concerned about balanced diet and new recipes, and proper administration of food for the family. Not selfish with her food.
7) DILIGENT —- Not lazy in character. A lover of productive and beneficial work for the family and outsiders. Keeping work scheduling times and not dragging her feet to perform simple chores.
8) HONEST —-Telling the truth and keeping promises to earn integrity. Sincerely and quickly admitting wrong, and willing to do better. Giving appropriate responses to the honesty of the man.
9) CHEERFUL AND HOPEFUL —- Not moody or constantly pessimistic. Sweet and attractive to interact with, and not repelling outsiders with an unwelcome attitude. Not constantly expressing fear and unbelief that will always hinder the progress of the family.
10) NOT A NAGGER OR SHORT-TEMPERED —- A peacemaker who is not noisy and contentious. A patient, graceful, tender, gentle lady. ABLE TO CONTROL HER TEMPER AND WORDS. Someone who is not a brawler. Not having the habit of finding fault, scolding, and complaining. Not a grumbler who cannot be easily pleased. Women must know that nagging demoralizes men and diminishes their confidence.
11) GOOD COMMUNICATOR —- Making a conscious effort to build intimacy with the man through verbal, written, and bodily expressions. Sharing her heart, and seeking to engage her man in good conversation. Sharing her joys, sorrows, and problems sincerely. Able to express her affection and appreciation verbally.
12) ROMANTIC AND LOVING —- Not just sexy in appearance and attitude, but having the willingness to satisfy her man with good romance and practical love when they marry. Having the right attitude towards purity before marriage, but not possessing a negative, selfish mentality towards sex that can starve the man sexually in the marriage and create problems of infidelity and lack of fulfillment.
13) NOT GREEDY, ENVIOUS OR SELFISH—- Not mean or self-centered. Not living a life of comparison with others and developing a spirit of envy, greed, and jealousy. Genuinely thinking about the welfare of others. Willingness to share what she has, including inherited wealth or property. Ready to extend love to family and friends. Giving the right treatment to in-laws. Not making secret deals behind her husband.
14) HELPFUL, CARING, AND ENCOURAGING —- Desiring and making every effort to support the man. Standing by him through thick and thin, no matter his weaknesses. Encouraging him by all possible good means. Having a sincere desire to help others to be prosperous and happy. Having a heart of service without discrimination, and seeking to help you out unconditionally.
15) GRATEFUL —- Thankful for the man first, and all good things that come her way as a result of their relationship. Able to have a heart of gratitude and expressing her gratefulness for little gifts first, and big ones as well.
16) HAVING FINANCIAL WISDOM —- Not a lover of money. Honest with money and spending. Ability to use money wisely without incurring debt for the family. Not obsessed with shopping. Buying items that are really not important at a particular time. Willing to help the man to make a reasonable budget. Joining her husband to plan for the future.

17) FEARING GOD AND HAVING GOOD MORALS —- Respecting God. Someone who loves the Bible and its daily application. Responsible church member. Someone who delights in holiness, purity, and excellent family values. Morally upright. Having respect for her own sexuality and its appropriate use.

As I have always underscored, it is more important to BE THE RIGHT PERSON than just looking for the right person. That is the only way to recognize the right qualities in the other fellow.
Every man should have it firmly fixed in his mind that without his good and Godly leadership as a husband, and his unwavering love, he will ruin the best woman given to him in any marriage.
Gentleman, please remember that the lady is also looking for the right man with excellent qualities that will provide her with the love, care, and security she crucially needs.


What do you set out to really look for in a man in order to choose him as a prospective husband—someone you will share your entire life with permanently on earth? This is a vital question many ladies pose to me frequently. Since the man will usually propose to the woman, she must also have a set of standards that will guide her to give positive or negative response.
Again, the fundamental and essential differences between men and women that dictate specific needs of the different sexes should be among the overriding factors for her ultimate decision. If she decides to go with a man who does not know the value of women, she is in for a trouble. The vital needs of women have very strong bearing on what to look for in the man who will be used by God to fulfill those needs.
I have listed below a few important qualities a lady has to look for in a good man of her choice. Again you will notice that some of the qualities overlap with those that a man should look for in a woman, but both sexes often manifest them in different ways. These qualities are:

1) HONEST —-telling the truth, keeping promises to earn integrity etc.

issea2) GOOD COMMUNICATOR —- making the effort to build intimacy with the lady in his life. Sharing his heart, and seeking to be a good conversationalist. Sharing joys, sorrows and problems sincerely.
3) LOVING GOD’S WORD —- respecting God as the Creator of mankind and marriage. Studying and applying His Word, referring to it and relying on it in speeches, planning, and decision making etc.
4) PRAYERFUL —- depending on God for guidance and strength through prayer.
5) RESPONSIBLE CHURCH MEMBER —-active and serviceable member of a good Church.
6) EXHIBITING LEADERSHIP —-able and desiring to take initiative in leadership, and helping others to follow along for the accomplishment of common goals.
7) SELFLESS—- not selfish or mean. Genuinely thinking about the welfare of others. Willingness to share what he has, including inherited wealth or property. Ready to extend love to your family and friends.
8) CARING HEART—- sincere desire to help others to be prosperous and happy,
especially you (the lady). Having an attitude of service without discrimination. Seeking to help you out unconditionally.
9) HAVING TIME FOR PEOPLE —- making time to give individual attention to
people, especially women. Able to have the time to listen patiently to what you have to say.
10) NEAT AND TIDY—- concerned bout cleanliness, decent dressing, home orderliness,
and personal hygiene, which will enable him to support the wife and children in the home. Making the effort to look and smell good.
11) DILIGENT —- loving to do good and profitable work. Working to completion. Not
running away from work that demands effort or sweat.
12) HAVING TRUE LOVE —- sincerely loving people without manipulation in order to use them. Love that gives to others rather than getting from them. Planning to do acts of love by carefully observing people to sense their needs.
13) HAVING A CAREER OR JOB —- must be doing some work which will enable him to support his family, and provide them with financial security. Having or developing a career for income as well as self-improvement.
14) WISE AND GENEROUS WITH MONEY —- not selfish or mean with his money, and willing to share his money together with the woman for the needs of both of them. Generous with money that will help family members and friends. Wise with spending, and not financially reckless.
15) FEARS GOD —- Loves holiness, purity, and excellent family values. Morally upright, having respect for women and their sexuality, and believing in the appropriate use of sex. WON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH OR SEXUALLY FONDLE AND POLLUTE THE LADY BEFORE THE MARRIAGE IS OFFICIALLY CONTRACTED AND BLESSED BEFORE GOD.
16) HAVING RESPECT FOR THE WOMAN’S FAMILY AND HER CULTURE —- A man who does not despise the kind of family or culture that the woman belongs to. Willing to mix with the lady’s family members, relate well to them, and become a blessing to them. Accepting the good cultural values of the lady (but helping her lovingly to change any outmoded or destructive traditional practices and ideas)..
17) KNOWS THE WILL OF GOD FOR HIS LIFE (what God has called him for, why he is still alive). He may not fully know but is sincerely serving God and is seeking to completely find out God’s ultimate will, and so “needs a woman as a HELPER to discover and do God’s will”.

As I have always emphasized, it is more important to BE THE RIGHT PERSON than just looking for the right person. That is the only way to recognize the right qualities in the other fellow.
Lady, please remember that the gentleman is also looking for the woman with the best qualities that will satisfy his needs.
So far as we live in humility and obedience, God will ensure that we finally get the right people in our lives to accomplish His will in all areas of our lives. Even when we make mistakes that are sincere ones, He knows how to rescue us out of every mess and redirect our courses to accomplish His purposes.

Copyright, May 2003. By: Rev. Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, Hampton University, Hampton, Virginia). Founder & President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc.
6 Red Robin Turn, Hampton, Virginia 23669 USA Phone 757-7289330 Fax 757-7289335
E-mail: [email protected]


These are days when most people are not really sure of the position of the Church of Jesus Christ on vital issues, and the direction in which the Church is clearly moving. Several doctrines, issues, and practices continue to stir up more confusion in people’s minds, and blur their vision of God’s holiness, purpose, and direction for mankind, especially God’s sons and daughters in Christ.
There is the ordination of homosexuals as ministers of the Gospel; sexual immorality (fornication and adultery) plus pornography, profanity, and sexual abuse in divers forms are practiced freely; greed for financial and material gain has eaten deep into the minds and hearts of many Believers; occultism and un-biblical religious practices have been made to become legitimate part of worship in several churches.

More than ever before, young people in the homes of church goers have become extra rebellious, carnal, lazy, unspiritual, lighthearted, careless, immoral, users of alcohol and illegal drugs, dabblers in witchcraft, irresponsible users of resources, fun lovers more than work lovers, and very immoral in all forms of sexual practices, just like children of the world. On top of it all, supposedly Christian homes and families are becoming as dysfunctional as the homes and families of the world, and the divorce rate of the Church runs parallel to the divorce rate of the world.
So, where is the Church of Jesus Christ standing as the Light of the world, and Salt of this earth?

Churches are multiplying now more than anytime in the history of nations, especially charismatic and evangelical churches, but our problems seem to multiply along with the formation of new churches. The truth about God’s character and purpose is eroding away from many churches and our communities at an alarming rate, mainly because many Pastors, Ministers, and Church Leaders are not teaching and practicing the real biblical truth to the people of God.
Majority of people who go to church have lost, or do not really know, the fear of God anymore, especially young people. There is more activity than true spirituality. Instead of the zeal for personal Bible study and obedience to God’s will, there is more jumping, shouting, slogans, fun, programs, and singing of songs that have no real meaning to the singers in church services.

People are more committed to programs and performance of duties in place of real commitment to Jesus as Lord, effective bible study, meditation on scripture, obedience to God’s word, and fervent prayer, which will ultimately lead to demonstration of holiness and true love in our homes, marriages, family life, outside the home, and in our churches. This unfortunate trend has to be broken, and must be done so now!

God is looking out for men and women with true understanding of authentic ministry. The Lord wants to draw such men and women closer to Him, reveal to them His will and purpose for this generation, train them to become sharp tools and useful vessels in God’s blessed Hands, as they “work together with God” (2 Corinthians 6: 1) for the fulfillment of His ultimate purposes on earth. “God teaches the humble His way” (Psalm 25: 9).

The good news is that God has always had a devoted remnant of Believers who have stood firmly with the Lord to maintain the fundamental principles and doctrines of Christ for His Body, the church, in every corrupt generation. Therefore in every place on this planet today, there are still churches where the real truth of God is preached, taught, and practiced for the expansion of God’s Kingdom, and to the glory of God.
This is the reason why dedicated and concerned Pastors, Ministers, and Church Leaders with a genuine passion for God and desire to engage in true Ministry, gather from time to time to discuss, analyze, teach, encourage, motivate, and challenge each other to move ahead and work with the Lord to conquer more territory in order to expand the Kingdom of God. We can then gather other people within our sphere of influence, teach them, and demonstrate by our lives of obedience, enlightened zeal, true love, humility, faith and demonstration of holy living, WHAT REAL MINISTRY OUGHT TO BE.

“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal (blameless) to Him” (2 Chronicles 16: 9).
“ The people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits” (Daniel 11: 32).

To Minister: To attend to the needs of others, or to serve.
Minister: a) The act of serving; ministration; religious position or clergy.
Christian Ministers are Ministers of:

God —- 2 Corinthians 6: 4
Christ —- Romans 15: 16.
The Gospel —- Ephesians 3: 7
The Word —- Luke 1: 2
The New Testament —- 2 Corinthians 3: 6
The Church —- Colossians 1: 24-25
Righteousness —- 2 Corinthians 11: 15.
b) Ministers are Servants of:

God —- Titus 1:1
The Lord —- 2 Timothy 2: 24
Jesus Christ —- Philippians 1: 1
The church —- 2 Corinthians 4: 5

c) Ministers are Witnesses
They are given the anointing, power, and authority to witness about

God as Creator
God’s character and attributes
God’s works
God’s salvation plan for mankind
God’s revelation, redemption, and deliverance through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 43: 10-12; Luke 24: 48; Acts 2: 32; Acts 3: 15; Acts 5: 32, 42; Acts 10: 39-43; Acts 13: 29-31

Ministers are Stewards (managers, attendants, people entrusted with
Responsibility for). They are Stewards of:

God —- Titus 1: 7
The grace of God —- 1 Peter 4: 10
The mysteries of God —- 1 Corinthians 4: 1
Your call to be a minister is a stewardship from God given to you for the people within the Body of Christ —- Colossians 1: 25.

d) Ministers are Overseers (directors, inspectors, supervisors) —- Acts 20: 28
The major qualifications of an overseer are listed in 1 Timothy 3: 1-7.

Ministers Serve:
a) Work and care for, attend, do for, minister to, wait on or wait upon.
b) Place food before someone.
c) Meet a need or requirement, answer, do, suffice, suit (e.g. serve a purpose).

Ministers Lead: Exercise special influence in the life of someone, conduct along a way, guide,
be ahead or head of, tend toward a given result (e.g. a practice that leads to success), direct the performance or activity, start or begin, be in the front or foremost, have an advantage or superiority (e.g. lead in a game), be an example, play a principal role.

Other descriptions and titles that intimately go along with the calling to be a minister are:
1) Fishers of Men (Mathew 4: 19; Mark 1: 17);
2) Laborers (Mathew 9: 38; 1 Thessalonians 3: 2);
3) Lights or lamps (St. John 5: 35);
4) Apostles (Mathew 10:2; Acts 1:2);
5) Prophets (Ephesians 4: 11);
6) Teachers (Acts 13:1; Ephesians 4: 11);
7) Pastors (Ephesians 4: 11);
8) Evangelists (Ephesians 4: 11);
9) Ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5: 20);
10) Angels of the churches (Revelations 1: 20; Revelation 2: 1);
11) Defenders of the faith (Philippians 1: 7);
12) Elders (1 Timothy 5: 17; 1 Peter 5: 1);
13) Men of God (1 Timothy 6: 110;
14) Messengers of the churches (2 Corinthians 8: 23);

Some examples of service and leadership in the Bible:
1) The Apostles appointed or instructed the appointment of Elders to serve as Leaders in every New Testament church (Acts 14: 23; Titus 1: 5).
2) God instructed Moses to appoint 70 Elders to assist him to lead and minister to the people of Israel (Numbers 11: 16, 17, 24, 25).
3) Rulers and Leaders were chosen and appointed by Moses for Israel (Exodus 18: 21-26).
4) Aaron and his sons ministered as Priests in garments of ministry in the Holy Place (Exodus 35: 19 & 39: 41).
5) Service of the Lord was performed with offerings —- burnt offerings, sacrifices, and peace offerings (Joshua 22: 27).
6) David appointed men over the service of song in the house of the Lord (1 Chronicles 6: 31).
7) Very able men fit for the work of the service of the House of God (1 Chronicles 9: 13).
8) Service of God for Israelites —- goes with adoption as sons of God, glory of God, God’s covenants, the law of God, and the promises of God (Romans 9: 4).
9) Vegetation caused by God to grow for the service of man (Psalm 104: 14).
10) Service of the faith of the believer —- goes with sacrifice (Philippians 2: 17).
11) Service of divine ordinances of the first covenant (Hebrews 9: 10).


1) Minister to people for their good. Be a good minister of Jesus Christ —- Romans 13: 4; 1 Timothy 4: 6.
2) Be sound in good doctrine —- 1 Timothy 4: 6.
3) Be nourished in the words of faith (feed on a balanced diet of whole and pure scriptures) —- 1 Timothy 4: 6.
4) Fully acknowledge that the Lord called and put him or her in the ministry (received it from the Lord), and allow the Lord to control all aspects of the ministry —- 1 Timothy 1: 12
5) Depend entirely on the grace of God in every area of the ministry —- 1 Timothy 1: 14.
6) Be an elder who rules well —- 1 Timothy 5: 17.
7) Be a servant of the Lord —- 2 Timothy 2: 24
8) Be committed and devoted to the Lord and his or her duties —- Philippians 1: 21
9) Live a holy, pure, and righteous life — a character that matches the Gospel and the ministry —- 1 Timothy 4: 12.
10) Live a sincere and honest life of integrity —- Learn to hear and listen to God —- Isaiah 6: 8; Isaiah 30: 21; Acts 22: 17-21; Isaiah 15: 21; St. John 10: 3, 16, 27; James 1: 19; 1 John 1: 1, 3, 5.
11) Wait upon the Lord for His counsel, guidance, instructions, anointing, and power — Isaiah 40: 30, 31; Acts 1: 4, 5, 8; Isaiah 30: 1, 15-21
12) Obey God’s instructions and commandments —- St. John 10: 3, 16, 27; James 1: 19;
13) Not quarrel but be gentle to all —- 2 Timothy 2: 24.
14) Not be greedy or lover of money — 1 Timothy 3: 3.
15) Must be the husband of one wife or wife of one husband —- 1 Timothy 3: 2.
16) Must be able to teach —- 2 Timothy 2: 24. Labor in teaching and doctrine —- 1 Timothy 5: 17.
17) Be patient —- 2 Timothy 2: 24.
18) Be a man or woman of faith —- 2 Timothy 4: 7.
19) Fight a good fight —- 2 Timothy 4: 7.
20) Know his or her race and run it very well —- 2 Timothy 4: 7; Hebrews 12: 1, 2.
21) Be able to identify and fully use all talents and gifts —- I Timothy 4: 14; Ephesians 4: 7-16.
22) Persevere, be steadfast, and persistently keep the faith —- 2 Timothy 4: 7; 1 Timothy 4: 16.
23) Be consistent and faithful —- 1 Corinthians 4: 2
24) Correct in humility, those in opposition to him, the Gospel, the Church, or God —2 Timothy 2: 25.
25) Must be ready to suffer persecution —- 2 Timothy 3: 12.
26) Must preach the word of God! —- 2 Timothy 4: 2.
27) Must preach in season (when convenient) and out of season (when inconvenient) —-2 Timothy 4: 2.
28) Must learn how to convince (speak the truth emphatically and persuasively), rebuke (admonish, caution), exhort (urge by strong appeal, encourage and advise to do right), with longsuffering (enduring patience) and a teaching (educating and instructing) objective —- 2 Timothy 4: 2.
29) Finish his or her assigned work (fulfill all your responsibilities) —- Colossians 4: 17; 2 Timothy 4: 7; Hebrews 12: 1, 2.
Copyright Jan. 2009. Rev. Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo
Professor of Biology
Hampton University, Hampton, Virginia, USA
Founder & President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc.

(Evangelistic and Teaching Christian Ministry)
6 Red Robin Turn
Hampton, VA 23669, USA

Phone: 757-7289330


“We have not balanced our preaching with adequate teaching, and have consequently given people half the Gospel which has produced many half-baked Christians” —-Sam Kisseadoo


It is a Command of the Lord Jesus to His disciples— Math. 28: 20
Jesus, our Leader and Example, was primarily a Teacher — St. John 3:2;
11: 28. He told His Disciples in St. John 13: 13: “You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.”

Math. 4: 23 — He was Teaching (first), and to get converts to accomplish His teaching task He was Preaching, and to complete His work and be absolute Lord He was Healing as well. These three form the package of the Full Gospel.
Math. 11: 1 — After Jesus sent out His Disciples, He went to teach and preach in their cities. Do what He tells you to do, and he knows how to take of yours for you.
Mark 6: 34 — When Jesus saw the multitudes like sheep without a shepherd (leader or guide), He had compassion for them, and the best way He expressed it was to “teach them many things” (lead and guide them).
Mark 8: 31 — When Jesus realized that His Followers had not clearly understood His impending Trial, Death, and Resurrection as inevitable necessity for the salvation of mankind, He took time to teach them these truths. This is what every Leader must do for those he is leading. Fathers must take time in this way to teach their families.
Jesus used His chances in the synagogue on the Sabbath to teach. Many who heard Him were astonished at His teaching, wisdom, and works — Mark 6: 2
Without teaching we cannot make any Disciples of Jesus for God’s Kingdom —
Math. 28: 19, 20. This is the only way to “present very man perfect (mature) in Christ” — Col. 3: 28. People will only remain converts who cannot bear fruit if we do not make them Bible students who know God’s ways.

Preaching or proclamation (declaration) of the Gospel must be accompanied by sound Biblical teaching, otherwise we do not give people the Full Gospel that fulfills God’s will for mankind, and we cannot be full Disciples ourselves.
God’s truths will be lost to us, and we cannot know Him deeper or understand our relationship with Him. We would not inherit His promises by having faith in Him, or use His gifts correctly, and we cannot receive any more revelations from God.


We must be fully aware of the fact that it is God who does the teaching through us. We are only His channels for the distribution of His truths to men. The Holy Spirit was given to us as our Helper to “teach us all things and bring to our remembrance all things that Jesus says to us” — St. John 14: 26. Paul emphasized to the Corinthians that “we speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.” All teaching must be based on the Bible (God’s Word) and should be applicable to daily living. “The Word of God is spirit and life” — St. John 6: 63. If we do not base our teaching on scripture, we would end up feeding people with human wisdom that cannot give them victory over the devil and his works. Fleshly teaching will produce works of the flesh. It must ultimately help the learner to draw closer to God and make Jesus Lord of his or her life. Observers should clearly recognize that we are teaching powerfully in the Name of Jesus — Acts 4: 18; 5: 28.
We need to focus our teaching on the following:

The importance of “all that Jesus commanded us”, and how to observe them — Math. 28: 20.
Teaching the fear of the Lord — Psalm 34: 11.
Teaching transgressors God’s ways — Psalm 51: 13.
The assurance that God guides the humble in Justice and teaches the humble His ways — Psalm 25:9.
Just as Moses did for Israel, we should teach God’s people the Commandments, Statutes, and Judgments. The Statutes or Decrees are laid down to address the principles by which they are to be governed; the Judgements or Laws do address the specifics. The people are to be shown the way in which they must walk and the work they must do. Then they can live and possess their inheritance, when they observe them — Exodus 18: 20; Deut. 4: 1 & 5: 31.
Teaching God’s people to know war (how to fight spiritual and social battles and win) — Judges 3: 2; Eph. 6: 10-18.
Teach the good and right way (making right decisions, honest dealings, looking out for the interest of others, acts of holiness etc.) — 1Sam. 12: 23. In Solomon’s prayer
for Israel, he asked God to forgive the sins of the people and teach them the good way in which they must walk — 1Kings 8: 36
Teach them to number their days (realize how short their life on earth is, and how they should make good use of their time and opportunities to do good to their fellow men and serve the Lord faithfully) — Psalm 90: 12.
Teach them to pray as Jesus taught His Disciples — Luke 11: 1. Prayer seals the word in the heart and spirit. After meditation, they should learn to pray the Living Word’s response in their spirits
back to God. The Word is Light (Psalm 119: 105, 130), and will show us what to pray for in accordance with God’s will.


The Church of Jesus Christ is required to proclaim (declare) the Gospel in public, and teach the believers from house to house (family to family) — Acts 5: 42 & 20: 20.
A real Teacher sent from (or led by) God is unique in style, character, authority, content of message, and works. This was true of Jesus; the results of His teaching were unique, especially because “He taught them as one having authority” — Math. 7: 28, 29; Mark 6: 2. This should be true of His followers. Our authority is based on obedience to God’s commandments, the power of God’s Spirit in us, the convictions that have been deposited in us by God concerning His truths, the infallibility of the Bible, and the excellent results of the teaching we impart.

Some essential points are as follows:

Be absolutely convinced in your mind and heart about what you say. “Whatever is not from faith is sin” — Romans 14: 5, 23.
Like Ezra, “study God’s Word, do it (obey), and teach it” — Ezra 7: 10.
Build a personal relationship (fellowship) as a teacher with your student. As you teach, aim at making a Disciple or Follower of Christ. Look out for those who will genuinely receive the teaching, and build them up to become teachers themselves. “Anyone who is fully taught (trained) will be like his teacher (Luke 6: 40). The principle is for you to “entrust the truth to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” — 2Tim. 2: 2.
Learn to go to people in their homes as follow-up of public meetings, in order to obtain the appropriate evaluation of things and teach them on personal level.
In-depth teaching can only be done very effectively by the Church “from house to house” — Acts 5: 42; 20: 20.

Teach no other doctrine, except what is Biblical —1Tim. 1:3. The doctrine must “agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to Godliness” — 1Tim. 6: 3.
Encourage them to trust the Lord and have a deep personal relationship with Him themselves, and not be dependent upon you or others. Just as Paul did for the Church in Ephesus, “commend them to God and to the Word of His grace, which is able to build them up and give them an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.” — Acts 20: 32.
Aim at the highest standard and “set the believers an example” (1Tim. 4: 12) in the 5 areas of: speech, conduct, faith, love, purity. Your students will be like you. Teach them by your obedience and example.— Titus 2: 7.
Feed them the right food at their level, at the right time, which will make them grow up and be useful for the Lord. (Math. 24: 45; 1Thess. 5: 11).
Be focused and targeted, using wisdom in your teaching. Be a “wise steward” (Luke 12: 42)
Aim at presenting them before God as mature Believers in Christ — Col 1: 28.
Feed them patiently, and tend (care for them) to be productive. — St. John 21: 15-17; 1Peter 5: 2. Speak clearly and systematically. Get a feedback and repeat if necessary.
Show seriousness in your teaching. — Titus 2: 7, 8; Mark 1: 22.
Put in the required time, and be committed.— 1Thess. 5: 14; 1Tim. 4: 15.
Remain faithful to God, the truth, and the people you teach. — 2 Tim. 1: 13, 14; 2Tim. 2: 15; 1Tim. 6: 2, 3; 1Tim. 5: 21; Luke 12: 42-44.

Know the subject matter.
Take time to prepare for it.
Make it relevant and interesting.
Give the students everything you have.
Decide to do your very best.
Care for the students you teach.
Live an exemplary life according to what you teach

“This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men”— Mark 7: 6, 7.

May the Lord help us to teach as doctrines, the true commandments of God, so that God will not consider all of our worship and religious activities as vain efforts.

Copyright March 2002, revised June 2008 Rev. Dr.Samuel A. Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, Hampton University, Hampton, Virginia, USA)
Founder and President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc., 6 Red Robin Turn, Hampton, Virginia 23669, USA.
Ph 757-7289330 Fax 757-7289335 E-mail: [email protected]


No marriage, family life, home, or relationship can be classified as fruitful and successful if the people involved in the relationship do not trust each other. Love is the key factor for the establishment of any successful marriage, productive family life, joyful home, warm fellowship, and satisfying friendship, where trust must also be an indispensable ingredient. Love is therefore the key factor for the establishment of trust in any form of relationship. That is why Jesus commanded us to: “love one another (as the basis of our relationships) as I have loved you” (St. John 13: 34).
Under no circumstances can two or more people live, work, or fellowship together without trusting each other. Lack of trust implies doubt and uncertainty about the integrity and suitability of the person or persons you are dealing with, which implies that you have no faith in your interactions. Under such circumstances, there is no way you can give all of yourself to the person and to the relationship and build true loyalty for a successful relationship.

(I) Trust Is Determined By The State Of Your Mind And Heart
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths”.
Scripture makes it clear that trust must begin and develop in the heart (center of your soul). This will depend on your state of mind (understanding), and will be further demonstrated by the extent to which you depend on God and consult Him for wisdom and direction in all that you plan and do (your ways and paths). If we do not learn to trust God with our hearts and minds, then we cannot trust our fellow human beings. Couples and family members who do not trust God would not also experience any appreciable measure of genuine trust in their marriages and family life. They would not be able to easily forgive offences and get past them to develop good relationships with people. Little offences would always throw them off balance and quickly break any trust they have for their partners and family members, or friends.
In Proverbs chapter 31 where the virtuous (ideal) wife is defined and described for us, her characteristics begin with trust in the heart of her husband for her.
“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her” (Proverbs 31: 10, 11).
It is the person (wife) that you trust, and not just things the person (wife) does, although the person’s acts and behavior will promote the trust. If a woman earns the trust of her husband in his heart (seat of emotions and center of his soul), abundant love is triggered and nourished to flow freely from his heart to his wife.
When the wife responds properly to her husband’s unconditional love and trust, unprecedented security is created in the relationship, and both of them feel very safe in each others arms and bosom.
I believe that this is the foundation as well as the beginning of any genuine husband-wife relationship that has true love and meaning. This sets the tone for love and leadership in the family, when Daddy sincerely trusts Mommy in his heart, and enables Mommy to trust him also in her heart. The reciprocal (two-way) trust enables both of them to allow each other the freedom to develop their gifts and talents to their full potential, grow into each other in deeper love and trust, strengthen the marriage bond, and transfer the spirit and values to the children and rest of the family. This is the only way to promote fruitfulness and success of any marriage and family life, and for every other human relationship as well.
Your thoughts determine what is finally conceived and felt in the heart. To become virtuous, ideal, or trustworthy companion, you should therefore:

Work diligently on your mind in order to sow good and godly thoughts into your mind.
Allow your heart to trust the one you are relating to, and discipline your heart to maintain the sincerity of the trust.
Make a conscious effort to remember the needs and interests of your mate or friend, and determine to freely share your mind and heart with the person you have decided to join your life to.
Avoid any thoughts or acts of distrust that would hinder complete unity and agreement in your marriage or relationship.
When someone closes the heart and does not open up to you, hides his or her true feelings and thoughts from you, lives a life of secrecy or insincerity, and exhibits a life of selfishness and self-centeredness, it becomes extremely difficult to trust, relate to, or marry such a person.

The trust in your heart for someone who is close to you, produces:

Sincerity —- You easily open up your mind and heart to one another, accommodate and tolerate each another, and tell the truth to one another.
Loyalty —- You become so committed to each other that you constantly strive to remain faithful to one another in the relationship.
Faith —- You interact and do things with the person without fear, hesitation, and doubt.
Confidence —- You derive courage and inner boldness for your activities in the relationship.
Genuine love —- You constantly look out for the best interest and welfare of each other, and share all things freely for mutual benefit.
Warm fellowship —- You always desire and enjoy each other’s company, pray and share scripture together, converse and share good information together, support each other, and enjoy meeting each other’s needs.
Intimacy —- You develop closeness (physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual).
Security (safety) —- You feel safe and protected by the strong believe that the one in whose hands you have entrusted yourself in absolute commitment for a permanent relationship, will never fail nor betray the trust you have reposed in him or her in any way, and under no circumstance.
Peace —- You have a deep sense of peace as you trustingly live with the person and expose yourself fully to the one, firmly believing that God has ultimately given you a true companion for fruitfulness and progress.
Joy —- You have true joy in your heart as you relate to the person and enjoy sweet fellowship with him or her.
Motivation —- You are encouraged to discover and improve upon your talents and gifts. You are further stimulated to seek for new ways of doing things in order to become a greater blessing and make the relationship more successful and satisfying. You are motivated to fellowship and work more with the person, and constantly trust him or her to team up with you in your efforts.
No husband can claim that he is genuinely committed to his wife, loves, and cares for her, when he does not sincerely trust her in his heart. You could say: “I trust you”, with your mouth, but not really mean it in your heart. The same situation applies to the woman who claims to trust her husband only with her lips. Genuine trust in the heart is the basis of a godly relationship that is directed and controlled by the Spirit of God.

(II) No One Can Trust Someone Or Something For You
No matter the counseling and prayers you receive from people, no one can trust your spouse, parent, family member, or friend for you. It is similar to faith and salvation where no one can believe and become saved for you. Faith and trust are personal matters. Although people can ask others to be with you or help you to do things, give you something to support you (food, medicine, accommodation etc.), or can offer you recommendations to choose people and things that will benefit you, no one can actually trust anyone or anything for you. You have to learn to develop your own trust and confidence. You can still work with someone or use something with constant doubts, no matter how it works for you, unless you make a firm decision to operate in the realm of faith and trust. If after testing you become convinced that someone’s recommendation is good, and is the best answer for your particular situation, then you need to open your mind and heart to create some trust to the required degree in order to continue to derive all the expected benefits.

(III) Love, Faith, Agreement, And Trust Go Together
You cannot sincerely love someone without believing in the person. Neither can you agree with anyone to walk and work together in harmony, without trusting that you will always be faithful to each other and maintain the bond of unity and fundamental principles that hold the relationship together.

(III) Basis And Kinds Of Trust
In my opinion there are variations or kinds of trust, as well as a basis for any kind of trust, depending on the kind of person being trusted, what is involved in the trusting process, and the circumstances surrounding whom and what you are trusting. In other words there should be a reasonable, genuine, and solid basis for trusting, which determines the kind or extent of the trust you exercise.
I have tried to categorize different types and variations of trust in my own way in order to explain my point. I encourage you to discuss, analyze, and improve upon it.

Common, Normal or Involuntary (Automatic) Trust —- This is trust you automatically exercise without any pause to consider the outcome, because it is virtually part of human life. For example a mother gives breast milk or feeds a baby and automatically trusts that once the nutritious food has entered the child’s system, it would produce growth and strength. A driver begins to press on the accelerator once the engine of a vehicle responds favorably to ignition, trusting that the vehicle is going to carry him or her forward without any doubt. Under normal conditions a sleepy person lies in bed at night and fully trusts that he or she is going to sleep soundly and wake up the next morning. Unless other factors come in suddenly or unknowingly to interfere with these normal life processes, and become hindrances or problems that need to be dealt with, we do not have the slightest problem with exercising absolute, automatic trust for such situations.
When a husband, wife, family member, fiancée, or friend does not exhibit automatic trust that every other person should portray, to your expectation, it then becomes a problem in the relationship. You see such a doubtful person as someone who cannot even exercise simple trust of a child, and believe in relating to you even under the least of all circumstances. Such a person would doubt almost everything you say and do. Even when you serve him or her food or water, the one would not trust you enough to regard it as wholesome. Every conversation with someone else could trigger the suspicion in the one that there is some form of gossip about him or her in at least one or two sentences from your lips. The person never believes any explanation for any mistake you make or deviation from routine (e.g. coming home a little later than usual).
Such a situation could be satanic, in which case the person needs deliverance from a doubtful and suspicious spirit operating on the mind, but it could commonly result from wounds and scars of very bad experiences of the past that the one needs to be healed of.

Regular Tested Trust —- This is trust that all of us exercise for someone or something after several, long term interactions or usage under the same or very similar circumstances. For example all of us respond to adverts on television, on the radio, or by the wayside and test the products of companies or people’s services, and finally put our trust in goods of the company or persons that satisfy our needs.

Exclusive Tested Trust —- This is trust that is peculiar or exclusive to you alone, or particular for you and your family or among a small group of people. It results from long term testing of someone or something under special circumstances in addition to all regular situations that are common to relationships. In my opinion, courtship and marriage relationships come under this category. I have to explain that after careful examination I realize that all the other kinds or categories of trust I have enumerated come into play as preliminary stages before an Exclusive Tested Trust becomes finally established.
For example a wife or husband is selectively chosen to bond permanently with you under your own specially considered circumstances, which becomes a trust that is exclusively tested, developed, and accepted.
In my opinion, it is this kind of trust that should define the extent and depth of the love, quality, fellowship, and success of any marriage, family life, friendship, or church. Exclusive trust cannot be achieved without the fear of God, wisdom, sincerity, sacrifice, selflessness, and genuine love.

To establish Exclusive Trust, you will need to do the following:

Sacrifice —-You must learn to sacrifice time, effort, money, and resources to build such trust. No real trust is ever cheap, because it is earned and not just given.
Deal with weaknesses —- You will have to acknowledge and deal with your own human weaknesses as well as the faults and failings of the other person or persons you are relating to, before you can establish trust between the two of you.

Consider circumstances —- You will need to take special circumstances, problems, and peculiarities of the other person or people into careful consideration, especially the mind of the person you wish to trust. For example: children (immature mind); someone with a very weak will and weak spirit (naïve and easily deceived mind); very old person (reduced mental faculty and physical abilities); troubled or traumatized person (worried and confused mind), illiterate or poorly educated person (ignorant mind), spiritually possessed or oppressed person or someone dabbling in the occult and witchcraft (satanic controlled mind); unsaved or backslidden person, or someone living in sin (ungodly mindset); someone with intentions of revenge for an offence or with malice in his or her heart to do you harm (wicked or evil mind) etc.
The devil, in collaboration with the normal corrupt human spirit, can influence such minds to think, act, and behave in disappointing and undesirable ways that make it difficult or sometimes almost impossible to trust the person you are working hard to build trust between you and him or her.

Persevere till the end —- You must determine to endure any hardships and disappointments as you build trust, especially in people who are difficult to live with or hard to relate to. Determine to persevere until you achieve your ultimate results and reach your goal of building genuine, enduring trust that would promote lasting friendship and fruitfulness in your relationship.

Work with people —- No one has ever succeeded in establishing the best relationship with another person without obtaining some form of good advice or essential information from someone else. This is where premarital and post-marital counseling become necessary for a couple to build trust in their marriage. Usually parents, adult family members, pastors, church leaders, and elders with experience, can be of immense help in guidance and counseling. If such people are also wise, spiritual, and godly in character, they can be of tremendous help in advising and assisting you in handling someone, especially your husband, wife, in-laws, children, boss, and colleagues. Anyone who has had long association with someone that has similar characteristics as the one you are dealing with can offer you good counseling and guidance. It does not mean you should simply follow everything they suggest to you, but learn to apply the acceptable part of the knowledge alongside your own convictions to gradually build trust in your relationship. If there are very intimate and personal issues involved, then be extra careful how you let these sensitive matters get out to other people.
The trustworthy people you consult can also support you in prayer.

Work with the Lord —- Study your Bible, meditate on God’s word at the beginning of each day, learn to use scripture to control your thoughts, actions, and emotions during the day. Use the scriptures as basis to engage in fervent prayer for yourself and other family members or person you are dealing with. Study the Bible and pray jointly as husband and wife, between you and your family member or friend etc., in addition to your own personal meditation and prayers.
Jesus said: “Without Me, you can do nothing” (St. John 15: 5). Trust is a matter of the mind and heart, and you must admit that you do not even fully know your own mind and heart very well in order to have any power to manage and control your inner-most being. How, then, can you have any power or authority and skill to work and change someone’s heart for him or her to become trustworthy, or produce any real sense of trust within you when you are struggling with your own doubts and weaknesses each day?

(IV) Conflict Management And Trust
No relationship exists without any form of conflicts from time to time. The ability and manner of managing or resolving conflicts and building trust is a primary sign of maturity of a person, and the depth of his or her relationship with other people that he or she has conflicts with. The building of trust in the parties involved in the relationship becomes more important especially during or after times of disagreement. The offended must especially learn to build trust for the offender, and the offender must trust that the one he or she offended has sincerely forgiven and released him or her from the chains of the offence for them to continue loving each other and working together in peace.
The person wounded and disappointed will find it hard to trust the other person whom he or she finds as unfaithful. The other fellow who caused the hurt can also develop mistrust for the one he or she offended because of the fear of the disappointed companion not trusting him or her anymore.
“I don’t trust you anymore. I wonder if I can ever trust you again. I can’t believe or understand what happened. I never knew you could do that to me. How can I forget what you did?”
These are among the most common statements we hear in our homes and other places when trust is broken between two people, especially couples or lovers. It is also frequent among close friends, business partners, church leaders and their congregations, and among family members.
Another familiar one is: “As for me I don’t trust anybody.” When you hear this statement then it clearly indicates to you that the speaker has had a bad experience before or has heard about the unfortunate experience of someone who innocently, reasonably, or foolishly gave his or her trust to someone and got the trust badly trampled upon, with subsequent damages.

After dealing with offences and resolving all conflicts, the hurdle to overcome is the establishment of trust. We need to understand at least three very important characteristics of trust around which we can consequently concentrate our thoughts, mend broken trust, renew our trust for a beloved companion, and build deeper and more meaningful trust in our relationship:

Trust is a process, not just an act or event
It is the process that takes the act of forgiveness to completion, and enables us to establish true love and fellowship with any neighbor or companion. You CANNOT achieve it as a flight by night or in one sprint, no matter how gigantic your initial effort is.
Without patience and consistent works of righteousness towards the person you are dealing with, you will forever struggle to trust your husband, wife, child, in-law, relative, or friend. I must confess to you that it can take you the patience of a donkey to trust some untrustworthy people again, as you wait to get convinced that you can open up wholeheartedly to them without getting wounded or disappointed AGAIN.

Trust has to be earned and not just given
Because trust is a process, it has to be earned like a certificate and not simply given to anyone. Although we can deliberately decide or try to trust people or entrust things to them, even that is still a process of attempting to help the distrusted (or doubtful) person to earn some trust in order for us to have a foundation to trust him or her more.
After a husband (or husband-to-be), for example, has painfully violated the trust of his wife (or fiancee) and gotten himself sexually involved with another lady, suspicion is built up in the mind of the woman in addition to the excruciating hurt. Suspicion is a chief destroyer of trust. It could be the other way round (i.e. the woman flirting with another man for the male partner to develop suspicion).
From then on there is the temptation to screen phone calls, spy on one another especially about one’s movements and visits, eavesdrop on conversation, search for and scrutinize pictures and reading materials, secretly open up and read both incoming and outgoing letters with the skills of a detective, look for strange addresses and complimentary cards, steal passwords in order to scrutinize e-mails, examine under-wears and shirts for traces of sexual and romantic evidence, question gifts and unexplained delays in getting home, and critically analyze attitudes and appearances (including how wrinkled or tainted a dress looks).
The partner goes further to fish for strange keys and other items in the briefcase or handbag, tune up his or her nose for special or unfamiliar smells, and in the worst cases the lady or gentleman seriously digs for sex accoutrements like condoms (the most common) and critically examine bed-sheets as well.
Some people hide serious diseases and physical abnormalities from their mates, and others go as far as hiding children they have had with other ladies or gentlemen in the past until the mate discovered them. Deep and sometimes irreparable mistrust results after the discovery.
A suspicious parent will question all exits and incomings of his or her child into the house, will constantly and secretly search the room, drawers, and school bags of the child, and screen his or her phone calls and mails.
What are we trying to say here? We are implying that it becomes VERY DIFFICULT TO TRUST the husband, wife, child or person you live with anymore, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, especially when the one does not show signs of true repentance, lies to his or her teeth, or appears proud, sneaky, and deceptive.
But what do we usually hear being drummed into our ears? We hear: “TRUST ME, TRUST ME; I SAY TRUST ME!” being echoed from the offender all over the place.
Well, we cannot simply “trust you” by giving you “cheap trust” which usually results from “cheap forgiveness” (pretentious forgiveness that does not address and deal with the root of issues). The fact of the matter is: we are not sure you will know the value of the precious trust offered you, give it its due respect, and fulfill your required part of the trust agreement and responsibilities.
As much as we should forgive and forget the past, and learn to trust people again, I have already emphasized that we should be cautious of offering cheap forgiveness to someone who is genuinely unrepentant. It may be appropriate in certain circumstances to limit your interactions with the one for a period, and allow him or her to develop true repentance and for you to redefine your relationship with the one. But give such treatment to the one lovingly and wisely in order not to cause the person to become hardened.
Paul exhorted that: “If anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy but admonish him as a brother” (1 Thessalonians 3; 14, 15).


Trust takes time to grow
Trust is created and built in order to grow in size and strength with time, so as to meet the challenges in a relationship that demand deeper trust with changing seasons.
This explains why trust cannot simply be an act, or handed over to a person instantaneously like a wrapped gift without the one earning it like a diploma. That is why it is also not wise to go the full length and presumptuously trust any Sue, Sally, and Mary, or any John Doe you meet down the road.
It further explains why you need to “walk into love” more often rather than just “falling into love” blindly at any time.

Trust in small as well as big things
If you do not learn to trust each other in small matters, you will find it difficult to trust one another in big or very important matters. If, for example, you are careful and sincere with small amounts of money or property entrusted into your care, it becomes easier to trust you with large amounts of money or expensive property.
Spouses, partners, family members, brothers, sisters, and friends should not be careless and unwise about simple trust in small matters of daily life, and wake up suddenly to make frantic efforts to demonstrate trust in huge matters of importance. The primary reason is because faith, trust, holiness, and sin etc. are absolutes to God. No matter how small any unbelief, un-holiness, distrust, unfaithfulness, or sin appears to be (in our opinion), it is still unacceptable in the eyes of a holy God who demands complete obedience.

Trust begins with humility and trusting in God
Every form of trust in your relationships, marriage, and family life, ultimately hinges on your trust in God who gave you your body (allowed you to exist), and gave you your spouse, children, family members, neighbors, and friends. If you lack the humility to submit to God and to people and work cooperatively with them, it will be very difficult to trust anyone. God also gave you your home to dwell in, where the genuineness of your trust is ultimately tested. Be constantly aware of the fact that God works in the life of every human being, either to convert the unbeliever, bring the backslidden back to Himself, or use the committed child of God to his glory. Learn to think and act past the human being you are dealing with by looking to the Lord as the one you are really living for. This will enable you to trust in God and do His will by focusing on being an agent of salvation, deliverance, and blessing for family members and people you deal with, rather than focusing on yourself, human beings, and people’s weaknesses and then end up thinking, acting, feeling, and behaving in the flesh with little or no ability to build any trust at all in your relationships, especially when it is taking a long time (in your estimation) for people to do the right thing and make themselves trustworthy.

Words and deeds (actions), fashioned into their right shapes and sizes by the right attitude and timing, are the bricks used to build trust. The mortar is a mixture of love (the cement) well mingled with forgiveness (the sand), reinforced by iron bars (prayer and practical application or obedience to God’s word), for the building of the mansion (God’s Kingdom).
Above all, praying for any companion and constantly interceding on his or her behalf, will give you enough grace and power from God to love the unlovable, and trust the untrustworthy one.

Copyright November 2005 Rev. Dr.Samuel A. Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, Hampton University, Hampton, Virginia, USA) Founder and President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc.,
6 Red Robin Turn, Hampton, Virginia 23669, USA. Ph 757-7289330 Fax 757-7289335 [email protected]

Govt asked to institute a national family day

Accra, July 5, GNA – A call has been made to government to institute a national family day, distinct from the international family day, to strengthen the unit as the vital force for nation building. The Reverend Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo, Professor of Biology Hampton University Virginia, who made the call said, the successful establishment of any nation depended hugely on the strength of the family unit and hence require a particular focus and attention. Speaking at a press conference to draw attention to the institution of the day, Rev Kisseadoo said the extended family system, which, hitherto offer support in situations where the nuclear family was dysfunctional had virtually collapsed, leading to little care for the needy and destitute.

“As our social support system is compromised children are displaced due to varied circumstances into the streets where they have become exposed to a myriad of socio-economic problems such a poverty, lack of education, prostitution, HIV/AIDS, substance abuse and the like,” he said.

Rev. Kisseadoo expressed concern about the growing number of children on the street and praised the efforts of government and civil society groups in resolving the problem.

However, he said, plans must be put in place to take care of the family as a total unit to yield stronger family systems. He emphasized that any such programme should target the men who are usually guilty of neglect and irresponsibility towards their family, saying that, should men be overlooked the country would face family problems in the future.

Dr Kisseadoo therefore, proposed some investment into capacity building for men to equip them with the skills for parenting, leadership and management of their families.

Rev Kisseadoo proposed organizing of special events such as conferences, seminars, cultural festivals, prayer and praise services, picnics, and durbars on the day to draw attention to the bond and demonstrate the solidarity for better standards of living.

Besides, the government could use the occasion to address the nation with words of encouragement to homes and families. Rev. Tetteh Djangmah, of the True Vine Charismatic Church said the family as a unit had been exposed to changes because of socio-economic factors.

He said the extended family, which readily offered support had crumbled, needing special attention to family issues. Mrs. Marylyn Amponsah Annan, Director at the Ministry of Women and Children said although the country marked the International Day of the Family on May 15 every year, it would work hand-in-hand with groups to bring issues of the family to the fore.


With all the upheavals and turmoil in the world today, how much peace do we have to be able to enjoy the Christmas of December 2008?? If your fear of the world’s present and future economy, inability to overcome your financial problems, inability to marry, or have a good marriage, have children, get healed of a troubling sickness, resolve a political issue, deal with an enemy, obtain the help you need at school or on the job, or experience a successful business or fruitful ministry, etc., puts you in a state of mind or position that prevents you from enjoying this Christmas, then the question is: should your condition dictate your celebration of Christmas and its significance, or the occasion is rather given to you freely by God in order to bring back to you the peace and joy that you have lost or have been craving for? We can explore several reasons for Christmas and be encouraged to enjoy the occasion, but I wish to enumerate 8 of them.
Christmas is about Easter. What do I mean? Christ was born in order to shed His precious Blood and die for us. Jesus died to wash our sins in His Blood, and redeem us (buy us back from the slave market of sin). Anyone without a true understanding of the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ will also not really understand Christmas, no matter how he or she tries to celebrate the occasion. People who dislike Christmas do not really understand or appreciate the Redemption plan of God, and do not understand why we should take one day in the year to celebrate the birth of the Savior. Whether Jesus was born on 25th December or not is not the issue. It is a day chosen by those who love God and understand what Jesus has done for them, to specially honor the Lord, and proclaim His salvation plan to the whole world. In fact, any true Believer should see it an annual opportunity to spread God’s good news around, rather than the politics some people try to play with the occasion by putting forward all kinds of meaningless and unreasonable arguments about the celebration.

Christmas is about God’s favor and blessings. When the archangel Gabriel was sent to Mary, he must have dashed down to earth with excitement to give her the message about the birth of Christ. The first utterance from his lips to Mary was “Hail, you are highly favored (God’s favor), the Lord is with you (God’s Presence); blessed are you among women (God’s blessings)!” (Luke 1: 28). God’s chief messenger was excited about the favor (approval and grace) of God upon the life of Mary. Why don’t you and I seek after God’s favor as our primary goal in 2009? God’s favor must go with His divine Presence, and will ultimately be accompanied by His blessings upon your life. If Mary had all these 3 essential qualities before she became the wife of Joseph, why shouldn’t the woman you are going to marry have these 3 qualities in her life as well? The man, who is going to be the Head of the woman, should have the favor, Presence, and blessings of God upon his life first, in order to qualify to marry such a lady specially prepared by God for him. If the man is wishy-washy, and is merely looking for a partner to satisfy himself selfishly, he will not have any godly and moral standards that are high enough to look for a woman with God’s favor upon her, and will not even recognize or appreciate the qualities when they are presented to him in the woman.

Christmas is about marriage and family life. God’s salvation plan was made manifest through the family of Joseph and Mary. Anyone with a contorted view of real marriage and family life will also hate or misunderstand Christmas. Marriage is the highest ordained institution of God for ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN. It is Adam and Eve, and NOT Adam and Steve, Jennifer and Stacy, or Araba and Ekua.
Mary and Joseph gave us a true example of a pure relationship leading to marriage. The bride-to-be (Mary) kept herself pure as a virgin for her future husband. Even after their engagement, which was a kind of traditional marriage (similar to the traditional marriage or customary marriage in some cultures like Africa etc.), they did NOT have any sexual intercourse because the marriage had not been finally blessed by God (Mathew 1: 18). We need to be careful and ensure that we do not hinder the Hand and power of God’s holiness that must follow us into our marriages and bless our family life, by disobedience and refusal to do what is right in the eyes of God. For true Christians anything they have must be sanctified by God before they can use it meaningfully. The first thing God did for the first couple (Adam and Eve) was to bless them in His Presence (Genesis 1:28). That is why we even sanctify the day with scriptures and prayer in the morning before we use the day to do anything. If we do not allow God to be in charge of affairs this way, then the Hand of God will not follow us in the things we do. Joseph and Mary believed in complete obedience and not partial obedience like the case of Moses who tragically lost His only chance of entering the Promised Land that he so much toiled for. We are told that “Joseph her husband, being a just (righteous man), was not willing to disgrace Mary publicly, and was contemplating on how to put her away (divorce her) quietly (Mathew 1:19).” If people found out that Mary was pregnant and thought she had committed adultery, she would be stoned to death! By the way, if we (people of today) were in the Old Testament days we would see many dead bodies (especially dead men) in our streets each morning after the horrible adulteries that take place each night (and in the day too) these days! We would stone people until all the stones in our neighborhoods get finished! Anyway, we learn from Joseph that one sign of a just and righteous husband (or man) is one that loves his wife (or fiancée) so much that it will hurt him to disgrace his wife or fiancée publicly. Men and husbands, can we use this standard to test our righteousness now and in the future?

Christmas is about God’s love and forgiveness. God manifested His ultimate love by giving us His only Son Jesus at Christmas. The good news is that no matter our past sins and mistakes, and whatever our condition at this moment, God still loves us, and is ever ready to forgive and forget the past, provided we acknowledge our ignorance, pride, disobedience, sins, and weaknesses, and truly repent. Although we are the ones that committed horrible sins against God, He chose to come down to us in our miserable situation, dialogue with us, and save us out of our sins. “Come NOW, and let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isaiah 1: 18). God’s love and forgiveness are unconditional, and we must learn to do the same for others.

Christmas is about peace, joy, and hope. We have peace with God (by accepting His offer of Christ to deal with our sins, guilt, and diseases), which is automatically followed by the Joy of The Lord when we continue in obedience by making Jesus both Savior and Lord (absolute Master) of our lives (Romans 5: 1). God must be pleased with us before we can experience his true peace. When Jesus was born the Angels sang: “Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth peace, goodwill to men (WITH WHOM HE IS PLEASED)” (Luke 2: 14). Many people walk around today with little or no peace in their minds and hearts! The solution is in a life that is yielded to the Lordship of the Christ of Christmas, and using His word to control your mind, emotions, attitudes, choices, and actions. God came down to give us hope for a better future and a final hope for Heaven.
Shepherds were placed at the bottom of the ladder in society at the time Jesus was born, and were not respected at all. We are told that they were not even allowed to participate in activities within the temple. But they were the people God rather chose to reveal Himself to, through the angels (Luke 2:8-16), and became the first people to receive the gospel.
Please keep performing your normal duties in 2009 and beyond, and trust God to honor you, even when humans will not appreciate you. When Joseph and Mary were rejected at the local hotel, they ended up in an animal house to have their Baby, but God made sure that He allowed shepherds who are used to the smell of animals to come where they were, appreciate them, and worship the Savior. No matter your condition, God knows how to bring the right people into your life in the times ahead, so stop being envious or jealous of others, and stop competing with people or undermining the achievements of others. Wait humbly and obediently for God to honor, bless, and prosper you.

Christmas is about giving. It is often said that your giving will always give you away (i.e. will reveal who you really are). Apart of God giving us His only Son, the Wise men (Magi) also gave the baby Jesus three important gifts (Luke 2:1-12). They gave gifts to Jesus that had value and meaning. Their gifts constituted an interesting mixture of 3 items, and we learn that:
The timing was right. Timing gives meaning to your gift, and determines the extent of its value as well.
The gifts were precious and significant. Gold signifies the Royalty of Jesus, Frankincense signifies His Divinity (Leviticus 2:1-2, 15-16), and Myrrh signifies His Humanity (and death). Myrrh was crushed before the sweet-smelling oil was extracted. Jesus was crushed (bruised) for our iniquities (Isaiah 53: 5). When the scent of myrrh gets into your dress, it is difficult to get it out; the Lord Jesus is like that in our lives.
The motivation of their gifts was right.
They had good motives for their giving. Your motivation gives importance and value to your gift as well. Do you check your true motives before you give your gifts to people?

Christmas is about miracles. The greatest miracle in the history of the universe happened when a baby was directly placed in the womb of a young virgin, developed to full term, and born naturally. Wow! That baby was God Himself (God the Son) who humbled Himself to become flesh, and came down to the earth to live among men. Do you notice that every miracle on earth has a natural component? Whatever supernatural occurrence God has graciously allowed to experience or whatever special gift He had given you by His divine power, there is a part God does not play. If God heals you, then you are responsible to play your part by walking and using your healed legs productively. Never expect God to do any particular thing for you, that He expects you to obtain through obedience. That might be the problem you are facing now (but you may not even be aware of it), after The Lord worked in His own special way (usually as an answer to prayer) by healing you, providing you with a fiancée, giving you a spouse and children or nice family, giving you good friends, providing you with a job or house, blessing you with wealth or valuable property, opening the door for you to obtain admission or scholarship, enabling you to have good education, giving you a position or promotion, graciously allowing you to win an election, causing your bills to be paid or finances to improve, providing you with the much-needed visa to travel or immigration papers to live where you are, and enabling you to establish a good church or ministry. Instead of submitting what God gave you to His Lordship in order for him to give you the wisdom to handle His gifts and miracles, you “become a possessor of the Holy Spirit” instead of the Holy Spirit possessing you. When that happens, then what should give you joy will rather give you unhappiness (at Christmas, in your marriage, as a single person hoping to marry some day, in your home, as a leader or boss, at school, on the job, in your business, as an immigrant overseas, in your church and ministry etc.).
I have come to learn that when you (the proud self in man) control any gift or blessing you have from God (intelligence, education, beauty, achievements, marriage, family, sexuality, business, money, opportunities, position, talents, abilities, etc.), then whatever is supposed to give you contentment, joy, and peace, will rather give you pain, and can even become a thorn in the flesh.


Any meaningful and spiritual prayer to God must have a biblical basis of faith generated by God’s word and prompted by God’s Spirit. You cannot simply believe anything and pray to God without real faith, and wishfully or casually expect answers from the Lord when you are not in line with God’s will and God’s word.

A) Sizes of faith

I wish to begin by pointing out an important fact —- it is really not the size of your faith that God is primarily looking for. God is mainly concerned about where you place your faith, and in whom you ultimately put your faith in, no matter the size. He also looks at the intensity of the burden in your heart, which is fueling your faith.
There are even men and women of God who began their ministry with gigantic faith, who later on began to put their big faith in the success of their ministries, personal efforts, great achievements, academic laurels, their popularity, and their power, and thereby lost God’s approval and his favor upon them. These spiritual leaders still get some results from their labors, continue to appear big in the limelight, but a closer look will tell you that they have lost their cutting edge as God’s battle axe, and also lost their original glory that stemmed from sincere, pure, humble, simple, and obedient faith.

I wish to explain how I understand this concept of faith sizes, based upon what I have gathered from the scriptures, and recognized in real life. I have to emphasize that the categories I have listed here are my own inventions, which I hope will ultimately become improved, accepted, and utilized by the Christian community:

1) Zero faith, or no faith —- This is when the person does not believe at all. Fear replaces all the space that faith should occupy in the person’s mind and heart. This what Jesus referred to in Mark 4: 40.

2) Little faith —- this is faith that is too insignificant to reach out to God, refuses to trust God for a particular situation, or is insufficient for a particular task or need. This is the size that Jesus referred to in Mathew 6: 30 when he was exhorting his disciples. It is also the same size of faith that Jesus referred to when he commented on Peter’s inability to continue walking on the water and began to sink (Mathew 14: 31). Little faith is very prone to doubt, as Jesus pointed out to Peter.

3) Small-size sincere faith —- This is faith that is small in size, but has been totally placed in God’s ability, character, integrity, love, mercy, power, grace, and faithfulness. God honors such faith for specific needs and tasks, but seeks to enable the possessor to develop his or her small faith into a greater one for bigger assignments and greater glory. This is the size of faith mentioned in Luke 17: 6.
You realize that a mustard seed (very small seed) was used as an illustration. A seed has life in itself, and can be sown, grown, and multiplied. God wants to tell us that he is interested in a living faith that can germinate and grow to give more life, more growth, and abundant fruit. True faith that is sincere and godly, is the kind of faith that can spread its influence and be perpetuated, growing and producing more fruits and seeds year after year, and affecting many generations.

4) Failing faith —- this is faith that is waning or gradually reducing in size or intensity. This usually happens when we start believing with enthusiasm, and then suddenly meet trials or problems that we did not anticipate. This is the situation that Jesus cautioned Peter about in Luke 22: 32.
Failed faith —- If the desire and rate of enthusiasm continue to decline, then we end up having a failed faith that won’t want to believe anymore. That is when we begin to suggest a break of the relationship, seek for divorce in the marriage, pack your belongings to leave that home because you can’t get along with someone, stop calling or writing to the person anymore, refuse to treat the disease or pray for healing anymore, write a letter of resignation from the position, make plans to leave the church or school, and abandon the project.

5) Right-size faith, or good-size faith —- this is faith that is of the most appropriate dimension for a particular task or need. You may also call it best faith. It is faith of the appropriate size, developed within a person after the one has heard the gospel or listened to God’s word and has allowed it to sink into his or her mind and heart. The person then grows a deep inner faith, which totally believes that God has both the ability and willingness to meet a particular need. This is not casual faith that simply believes that God can do it, but a deeper faith that goes further to believe that God will do it.
An example is cited in Acts 14: 9 for the crippled man who heard Paul preaching and developed a faith for healing. Paul aligned his faith with the faith of the man and asked him to stand up, which he did by the faith he had developed, and therefore got healed.

6) Weak faith —- this is usually the faith of a new believer who is learning to develop his or her basic faith in the Lord, or an older Christian who has toyed with his or her faith over the years without growth and maturity, and is still nursing a baby-like faith for daily living. A previously stronger believer can also develop weak faith with constant doubt and distrust due to tough battles and unexplainable hard circumstances. We are told that Abraham did not grow weak in his faith as he waited for years to have a baby with his aged wife Sarah (Romans 4: 19, 20).
A typical reference of weak faith is made in Romans 14:1 for a weaker (less mature) brother or sister. We are strongly advised to be tender with the faith of such people. We are to be very careful not to damage their faith with our bad examples (compromises), which they can easily copy and fall away from the Lord, or force our stronger faith on them to discourage them from trying to exercise any more faith.

7) Great faith —- this is simple faith that is focused on God’s word, without looking out for any accompaniments, and is faith stretched to reach the Lord for a great need, even under the worst circumstance. Great faith believes God with full confidence to produce complete work through prayer and God’s word alone, without any unnecessary additional spiritual steps. Great faith usually believes God for the best results with total reliance on God’s power and God’s promise when all factors seem to go against you. An example is what Jesus congratulated the centurion for (Mathew 8: 10). The centurion simply believed Jesus to pronounce healing on his servant from a long distance, without Jesus making any trip to lay hands and pray for the person.

8) Strong faith —- this is the best, unwavering, uncompromising, bible –rooted, God-generated, up-to-standard, spiritual, faith that all of us are expected to have and express for all situations at all times. I see strong faith as a lifestyle of faith, rather than a one huge or gigantic exercise of faith to obtain spectacular results. Great faith must be exercised for all circumstances until it grows into a lifestyle of strong faith that continues to grow stronger. Abraham is used as a typical example of someone who had strong faith (Romans 4: 20).
Abraham built his initial faith to the level of strong faith, and even stronger faith, through constant thanksgiving, praise, and glory to God for what he was absolutely convinced that God was going to do. He firmly believed that God would by all means fulfill his promise of giving him and his wife Sarah a child.

9) Measure of faith —- this is a certain amount of faith that the Lord generates inside a child of God with the cooperation of that particular believer, for specific gifts and talents that the Lord has strategically placed in the person’s life, because God has chosen the person to use him or her for the expansion of the Kingdom of God.
This might initially sound a little confusing to some of us, if we do not take time to understand the context in which God uses the term “measure”. A typical reference is made to this fact that “God has given to each of us a measure of faith” (Romans 12: 3). It does not mean that you sit down doing nothing about the development of your personal faith, because God will measure a certain amount of faith and generously dish it out to you for you to use to get things from him.
This is not faith that God expects you to simple derive from his promises and then begin to operate spiritual gifts on your own. That is what happens when people begin to imitate gifts like tongues, word of knowledge, prophecy, and vision, and then force titles upon themselves as prophets, apostles, pastors, evangelists, healers, prosperity prayer warriors, and seers into the future. God does not measure and give you your personal faith and trust in him; he expects you to acquire that through faith in his promises and obedience to his word. .
Even in the process of using the measure of faith for the exercise of spiritual gifts, God still demands and expects the gifted individual to study his or her bible, meditate daily on God’s word, and become very prayerful, in order to sharpen the gift and use the measure of faith more effectively, and be able to manage his or her gifts with obedient faith.

B) Types of Faith

We need to understand that faith is needed for every area of our lives, and must be expressed for all situations that we expect God to work for us. There are different types of faith for various needs and different situations
I have also come up with my understanding of the types of faith as I see in the scriptures, and have observed in daily life. Again I encourage you to think through them with me, and come up with even better refinement of the types of faith we can categorize.

1) There is one type of faith that I wish to call “common faith”, which is faith that we consciously or unconsciously express for the common things of daily life. For example the faith to drink my water or eat my food and trust that it is going to nourish my body without containing anything poisonous. Or the faith to sleep each night and wake up each morning, take my pain medication for my headache and vitamins as supplements for good health, go to work each day expecting to come back home after work, closing my eyes to pray when I wake up in the morning and believing that God is listening to me, and the faith I use to operate machines and instruments.

2) There is a type of faith that I wish to refer to as “special faith” that we purposely muster courage and express for specific people, projects, events, conditions, and needs. Any common faith can become a special faith if the conditions are special or if they demand special attention. The special faith I need to exercise for my professional exam, or entrance exam for admission to an institution, or final exam for my certificate, is not the same as the common faith I exercise for weekly quizzes and regular class tests.
If I drive to work with a common faith for my safety each day, it can suddenly demand special faith if I have to drive through a storm back and forth. If I sleep with a common faith each night as a routine, it can call for a special faith one night when I am struck with a threatening illness, and must believe that I could sleep well and also wake up feeling better the next morning.

3) What I will call “exclusive faith” is a type of special faith that is exercised for humanly impossible needs that crop up, and during impossible situations or circumstances. For example when medical doctors have declared a sick person’s ailing condition as hopeless, and pronounced imminent death; when a machine or engine suddenly breaks down beyond repair in the middle of an important activity or journey; and when a baby is born with an obvious deformity. Such circumstances demand the stretching of your faith to the highest degree for God’s supernatural intervention.

4) I wish to coin the term “nominal faith” for any type of faith expressed naturally by any human being who does not have a relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, but wants to believe God to work for him or her by faith. Such people may only be religious by being mere church attendants who have never really been born again, or have no religion at all. People who attend church services only at Christmas, New Year, Easter, and for weddings and funerals, will fall into this category as well.
As I have explained in some part of this book, what such people express most of the time is more of optimism or a wish, rather than real faith that has a biblical basis. They may call it faith as if it is real faith in the true power of God, but because they do not know God’s word, their faith would only be the normal seed of faith placed in each human being by God for normal activities, and would not be true, spiritual faith.
We can therefore have subcategories of:
a) Nominal common faith.
b) Nominal special faith.
c) Nominal exclusive faith.
I know that some of you cannot wait to ask me the question: “How can such kinds faith work for the people who express them, since they are not really in tune with God for him to answer their prayers?” Yes, you are right. It is even worse when the person is living in open sin, and practices wickedness. We know that most of the time such people simply express a belief in their minds that things are going to turn out well, and sometimes it happens so for them.
Common faith has its roots in the fundamental seed of faith that God placed in us at creation, and therefore it is already a gift given to all mankind. Even armed robbers and atheists plant their crops, have a strong believe for their plants to flourish, and obtain a good harvest in the end. Christians experience the same too, but the difference is that the child of God can pray to God the Father for a bountiful harvest and other blessings of God that the unbeliever does not have the right to ask from God as his child or receive from God, or might not even know how to ask God for them.

In the majority of cases for special faith and exclusive faith, non-Christians ask to be prayed for by people they believe are spiritual enough to reach God for them, or they just cry to God in a phrase or sentence for help and believe that God would hear them. Others simply sit and worry about the problem, and wish or believe that something different or spectacular would happen by chance.
In all cases, God might do something good for them out of his love and mercy, intending to use such good things for them to realize God’s love for them and turn to him in repentance for salvation.

5) I have coined the term “pseudo-spiritual faith” for any type of faith that is based on reliance on a spirit other than the Spirit of Jesus (the Holy Spirit, or Spirit of God). Such faith could get results that are similar to the results of genuine faith in Christ, since Satan imitates the good things of God. But the difference is that if you obtain anything from another spirit, the blessing of God does not accompany it, and the curse behind it will follow you as well as your descendants, and will adversely affect your generation who will inherit you. When you die there will be no entrance from God for you to enter heaven. You will have to go to the evil spirit you followed and trusted in hell.

This type of faith applies to all cults or occult practices, variations of witchcraft, magic, juju, voodoo, lodge, fetish, idol worship, and other forms of spirit invocation. There are all kinds of clubs of men and women, and special groups that deceptively cover up their demonic activities in the name of wellness, fitness, exercise, health, mind development, projection of man’s inner powers, future predictions, financial prosperity, success in life, protection from enemies, and acquisition of special powers. Many of these are characterized by sex perversions and outrageous immorality, indecent and ungodly sexual acts between the same sexes, disrespect for and dishonoring of marriage and family life, lies, cheating, greed, rigid regulations, blood sacrifices, charms, and human worship. Other people are simply seeking to know God but are deceived and innocently trapped in the wrong places.
My book entitled: “Spiritual Warfare And Family Life” by Asempa Publishers in Accra, Ghana, will give you more details about demonic activities in homes, families, churches, and in our communities.

8) The final category is what I term as “godly faith”. I also call it “biblical faith”, or “spiritual faith”. This is the true, genuine, required faith of God that is based on God’s word. It is faith that you exercise and develop by first receiving Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord, and then putting your total trust in his power and his word, for your daily living. It is an investment of your natural common faith in God for a personal relationship with him. You take the original faith seed God placed in you from creation which you use for your normal daily activities, and plant that seed in Christ, and then nourish it with daily meditation on his word, obedience to God’s will, complete reliance on God’s grace, and prayer to the Lord for power to live to his glory.

What Should Be The Primary Object Of Your Faith And Prayers?

Faith (along with your prayers) must have an object (whom you believe), and must also have content (what you believe). The object of our faith should be the Lord Jesus Christ who is the only mediator between us and God for the provision of all that we need in this world and in the world to come.

“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household” (Acts 16: 31).

When you exercise faith for anything from God, it is not actually the thing or the answer we are expecting that should be our focus. As the scripture has stated, our focus must be on Jesus (our Saviour), who is Lord (absolute Master of our lives), and the Christ (Anointed One) who has all the knowledge and power to respond to our faith and provide the answer to our need.

The faith of all mankind naturally focuses on what I have recognized as areas that constitute the three most important needs of life. These three areas have been demarcated and defined in accordance with our normal human desires, plus our mental, cultural, social, and spiritual inclinations.

I summarize these fundamental human desires and needs, and I call them “The Four S’s. I recognize that these four factors form the basis of all that we tend to live for in our lifetime. What all of us crave for and expect in every phase of our short life here on earth can be summarized in these four key words S:

1) Success
Each of us wants to become successful in everything we say and do, and desire to see prosperity characterizing every project that we undertake or everything we toil for. We want successful health, successful marriage, successful parenting, successful in-law relations, successful family life, successful education, successful provision, successful accommodation, successful education, successful spiritual life, successful church, successful ministry, successful organization, successful career, successful investment, successful business, successful production, successful finances, successful position, successful relationships, successful city, successful nation, successful economy, etc.

2) Significance
We also wish to ensure that our success becomes significant, and is recognized by people as something of importance. Each one of us wants his or her plans, efforts, success, achievements, prosperity, property, and position to become prominent in our society.

3) Satisfaction
We also want to acquire real satisfaction, and we therefore make every effort to obtain successful results that really satisfy us, and make us happy. We strive to enjoy our success to the fullest measure.
But that does not end there.

3) Security
Finally we become deeply concerned about the security of the particular success and its respective significance and the way it satisfies us. We strongly wish to maintain and get more of the success and its eminence in society. We desire to have all of our efforts, success, significance, and legacies maintained, improved, guarded, and protected.

It is a fact that all humans are fundamentally a needy people. To expand what I have just listed above, all of us primarily need good food, water, clothing, shelter, and health. We also need good education, careers, and jobs that will provide for us the development of ourselves and the basic necessities of life. When our basic needs are met, we desire to acquire some inheritance, legacy, or treasure with our efforts, talents, and gifts for the future. Then we desire and look for people who will team up with us or help us to obtain our needs and achieve success, prosperity, peace, and happiness. Marriage, family, and friends therefore come into the picture. We also seek for positions that we can occupy and have some influence or recognition for the achievement of our goals (if we really have any), feel very content, and gain or maintain more of what we desire. My analysis is right, isn’t it?
Do you realize that relationship with God and relationship with people are among the last items on the list that most of us consider as fundamental or basic necessities of life? Even when we see marriage and family as important needs, they are usually considered in terms of what we can obtain for ourselves and simply enjoy, and not what we need to survive and obtain all of the other things we desperately crave for.
Prayerfully Focus On Building Relationships With Your Faith

In my opinion, your faith and prayers must be primarily targeted towards the building of relationships. This should begin with the building and establishment of a relationship with God. Then our relationship with people must be the immediate need and concern. We must use all of our faith to accept God’s plan of salvation and establishment of a relationship with him, and not try to develop our own way of trying to relate to god and making use of him for our needs to be met. God’s plan is for us to accept the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary, ask him to wash our sins in his shed blood, ask his spirit (the Holy Spirit) to come into our hearts and souls, and make us true children of God.
We then follow this up with daily reading and meditation on God’s word (the bible), live in obedience to God’s word, engage in fervent prayers that are based on faith generated by God’s word, become responsible members of a good church, worship God in spirit and in truth, and serve him in sincerity. This will enable us to develop good and loving relationship with people as we yield fully to God and allow the Spirit of God to reach out to others, connect with them, and bless people through our good relationship with them. Establishing good, meaningful, fruitful, beneficial, and lasting relationships, must to start from relationships in our homes, marriages, and family members. We then extend the good relationship habits to those outside of our homes and families.

It takes faith to do all these, since it is hard to relate to people in the light of our human weaknesses and faults. When all of our faith is directed and targeted towards the building of good relationships with God and people, all the other needs of mankind rather become the vital aids that provide the opportunities and infrastructure for the building and expression of our love for God and mankind. The marriage, food, health, clothing, property, education, career, businesses, investments, achievements, positions, gifts, and even our church buildings and several establishments will finally pass away after death, but our relationship with God and people will continue in eternity. We must recognize God as the ultimate supplier and provider of every need of each human being on earth.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4: 13, 19).
“The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness” (Psalm 24: 1).
“And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day” (Deuteronomy 8: 18).

We can see that the primary purpose of God giving us wealth and any good thing is to establish a relationship with us — as a covenant, in a permanent relationship that cannot be broken, beginning from the earth and continuing forever in heaven.
The quality of life we would experience after we leave this world will depend on what we did with all that God supplied for all of our various needs. How we used the good things of life to worship and serve God, and also used all the resources and blessings to serve our fellow men and women.

We must therefore make every effort to use our faith and prayers to live this present life with values of eternity. We must constantly remind ourselves that our real home is in Heaven, and our rewards in eternity have a lot to do with how we relate to God and people down here on earth.
That is what the apostle Paul meant when he said: “For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1: 21).

Copyright Nov. 2008 Rev. Dr.Samuel A. Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, Hampton University, Hampton, Virginia, USA)
Founder and President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc., 6 Red Robin Turn, Hampton, Virginia 23669, USA.
Ph 757-7289330 Fax 757-7289335 [email protected]





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